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View NewsletterChanged Lives...Running on Empty?...Alastair F.
Why do you think they call it dope?
It is hard to believe that in another six months, I will have been walking with the Lord for 10 years. Over those 10 years I have given and written and sang about my testimony many times now.. The gist of my testimony h as not changed, although it has been almost 10 years, I still have 40 years to account for. The difference now is that I also have my testimony for my time as a Christian to account for. As I say my life for 40 years has not changed, but the way I live my life now certainly has, as well as I have had my fair share of experiences since I have been saved to speak of.
God has made many changes in my heart, and I expect there are many more to come. And I am thankful that I have experienced pain and sorrow, for if I had not, then how would my heart ever know joy.. And if my faith was never tested, how would it ever be pure and genuine? If we never knew how to acknowledge ugliness, how can we ever expect to know righteousness? Yes as a Christian we are still challenged, we still make mistakes.
I have been through cancer and numerous other challenges to my health, family problems, and yes even problems in the Church. But now I can take them directly to God, I can open my own bible, I can pray, and I don't turn to my old self, but to my Lord and Savior. Yes I am born again. Our pastor has asked me on occasion to help him with situations regarding the use of drugs, and I finally wrote a few words regarding what I know. I was asked to make this an up-dated version of my testimony. I was leery of this, as I don't want anyone to believe that , well he made it, I can as well, especially with the young people who face this temptation each day. I want to be truthful, but please don't say well he made it, I will quit one day. That is too big a gamble, most do not make it. You are far wiser to never go down that road at all. This perhaps is why I have been asked for my in-put, as our lives have certainly traveled different paths, but thankfully they are both heading to the same point now, redemption, forgiveness, truth, grace. There is not a hole that is too big, that the love of God cannot fill, and the Grace of God cannot heal. But first you need to ask.
AH, JP, CJ, RF, MC, BJ, NP, JP again, RY, RC, BC, RG. Just initials to you, and that is the way I shall leave them, but they represent the initials of men and woman , who were very close to me and have all succumb to the fall out from drugs.
It is very sad to think that I have such a list, but it is true. Drugs leave behind not only victims, but casualties as well.
I know, everyone smokes pot, it's totally harmless right? Everyone takes a couple Tylenol 3's when they have pain, no big deal right? Hey you drink, what's the difference? The fact is, there isn't. Addiction is simply that. And whether or not you believe it, pot is a gateway , it does lead to other drugs. If someone tells you differently, they simply aren't aware yet, or are just lying to you.
I smoked for many years, and never did I ever not see someone who smoked a joint, then lit a cigarette, then had a beer to boot. My friends, that is three drugs right there. And sure as shootn',someone in the the crowd will show up who has some coke, some acid, something else, then the peer pressure kicks in, and here we go.
I had a father ask me once,( who's daughter was completely hooked on smack), why do people do heroin? I don't think he liked my answer, but I told him it is because it makes you feel good. People, you and I don't get hooked on something that makes you feel bad do we? Not! The truth is that yes the first time it feels really good, maybe even the second, third and fourth time, but after that you spend all your waking moments trying to re-create the first time, and it never happens. Soon there is a physiologic al effect which takes place, and soon your mind is programmed to need this stuff, be it heroin, crack, pot, what ever.
And don't think for a moment that everything is OK because they are just Tylenol 1's, I buy them at the pharmacy, or hey they are just Perk's , no my friends they are an opiate, hill-billy heroin the addicts call them, and extremely addictive, and harmful to every cell in your body. I could tell you about my own two weeks of withdrawals from this drug, shaking like a leaf, anxiety, cold sweats, hot sweats, fever, sick to my stomach. Damage which still haunts me to this day.
I am so thankful for God's Grace, as I made it through, when so many haven't. I see it every month. Another one bites the dust so to speak. The worst is when I meet someone from my past who didn't stop, and now they are walking vegetables. It breaks my heart, truly it does. But only by the Grace of God, go I.
It is funny that when I sing the songs which God has inspired me to sing, some will say he is this, he is that, but then someone will come to me and tell me how totally awesome my repertoire is, and how it really has spoken to them.( Thank You Lord.) To those who have not heard what I am saying, I pray that you would listen. For mine is a testimony that would not exist if not for the Grace of God. There is no logical reason why I am still alive.
But lets look at my life. I have half a lung left from all the pot, hash, and hash oil I have smoked. My nerves are permanently damaged form the all the LSD I took. My mind won't even allow me to take a regular Tylenol from all the codeine I have ingested. I have permanent scars form drugs and just like Paul, I have asked God to take this away from me, but He just keeps telling me to shut up and sing. So I sing. I hope you listen.
Recently I have come back into contact with a very old friend, and very close friend . He is a mess. It broke my heart for weeks. I could not understand how this could happen, and how much he has changed. The truth, how ever, is that I have changed. I see the ugliness that drugs are in full living color now, and I have been able to understand how it was God who has delivered me from the grasp of this which stole so many years from me. God is leading me out of Egypt, He is guiding me down paths of righteousness for His names sake. And my friend, who looks like he is 100, is now scarred, mentally, physically and without God, permanently.The best part is that God will not leave me as He found me, I will sore on the wings of Eagles, and He will continue the good work He has begun in me through Christ Jesus.
As is with the songs I sing, maybe with the words I write, one or two will hear Gods calling to them, and they will let go of this which torments them, and begin the journey to healing before it takes their life, before it damages their brain, before it leaves them breathless from a simple walk down the street.
AF. ( 08/08/08)